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NBA Christmas Wish Lists
Written by Jeff Fox   
Thursday, 24 December 2009 11:39

santadunksbasketball2

There are plenty of advantages to being a basketball writer - groupies, free drugs, invitations to the 'A' list parties, multi-million dollar contracts.  But the one perk of the job that I enjoy the most is the top secret, highly classified information that gets sent to me.  For instance, I have in my possession a list of presents Santa is bringing to members of the NBA world.  And since this is the season of giving, I'm going to share the list with you, my beloved readers.

Vinny Del Negro - gift card to Kinkos so he can make photocopies of his resume (after all, he is the Bulls coach and it is Christmas Eve).

Dwight Howard - a skin-tight undershirt, of course.

Dirk Nowitzki - rabies shots.

Carl Landry - all he wants for Christmas is his three front teeth - that's what he's getting.

Rasheed Wallace - "The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation" so he knows when he says "I ain't changing my game for nobody." it really means he is changing his game for somebody.

Portland Trailblazers - a robot center with indestructible, titanium kneecaps. 

Shannon Brown - a pair of slacks.

(cover the children's eyes)

DeShawn Stevenson - some Benjamins to go along with his Lincoln.

deshawn stevenson abe lincoln tattoo

New Jersey Nets - legalized euthanasia.

Stephon Marbury - a year supply of Vaseline.

LeBron James - a teammate that is actually, you know, sorta good at basketball.

Dwyane Wade - see James, LeBron.

Kobe Bryant - a Be Like Mike t-shirt.

be like mike t-shirt

Manu Ginobili - Rogaine with minoxidil (while you're at it, can you drop some down my chimney too Santa?).

NBA's TV partners - the following message: THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS ARE NOT AN ENTERTAINING TEAM TO WATCH - PLEASE STOP PUTTING THEM ON NATIONAL TV SO OFTEN.

Michael Jordan - the book "Humble Speech Writing For Dummies".

Hoops Manifesto readers - peace on Earth (sorry I'm cheap!).

 

Happy Hoops Holidays to all and to all a good night.

 

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